love, lost love, God, life and hope

take me to those safe waves where i lap easily on your shores

take me to where I'm free and hoping.. alive and open

take me to that raw inertia where longing is but a song
to where there is no right or wrong......

..............truth becomes my plight

take me to you, for i'am bound and broken

But let your will be done

not as I will, but as thou wilt

And He went a little beyond them, and fell on His face and prayed, saying, "My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; yet not as I will, but as You will."

"Devil Magnetism"

she came and whispered seductively in my ear

as a friend...... a lover of sorts....... and a partner in my latest crime

she said:

"you try and you toil.........but the pen tip has already dried-

it HAS been written.........and it SHALL be done
- so lets reset the clocks and have all the pendulums stop"

i stood dumbfounded and bemused as her words penetrated my being

and before i could say anything back, she asked me

"so who is she? was she all that?"

i replied stuttering:

" uhhh well yeah"

i was a friend when she needed one
heat when she needed some
and a shoulder to bleed on

a love forgiven
a dawn mistaken
a soul forsaken

"yeah that's what you were to her, but SHE who was SHE? "

she cant be alone
so she hunts and she swoons
with immaculate beauty and whats left of her charm

"so whats the attraction ?" some ask
"sympathy for the devil?"

i shrug....... i know.........but i wouldn't explain

"devil magnetism"

Karmic Convulsions

she was the kind of person whom when you'd say "i love you" to
she'd say" you know......i dont really think you do"
shed say this knowingly..... "ha" as if ....... as fuckin if

it sounded like death if ever i heard it

it stank of doubt and and raw fear previously unbeknownst to me

and for the first time i heard my innards scream from karmic convulsions

Simple Precious Moments

once every sad moon
i see her face

i remember touching her belly
as id approach from behind her

she loved that

she'd turn her head towards me
and roam my face with her eternal eyes

and lightly root for the perfect spot to plant a kiss

alive and tingling was the feeling

Too Proud

pure

what is that really?

i know I'm partially to blame
always being attracted to doomed relationships
and hopes ajar........

I'm too proud of my masochism
letting it ring throughout my life - with a wounding resonance
that is manipulative, yet essentially pure....

i know that somehow, sometime from under all the noise
the gem will shine brilliantly
never to dim or be forgotten.....

my beautiful woes will reveal themselves as ecstatic beings of light and smokeless fire

... guiding many

Ressurections

.......so here i'am

happy revived and ever forgiven

i tasted her the other day for the first time

her lips - literally sweet....... her tongue had a song and dance

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

you know.... i realise i've always had a soft spot for resurrections

but never thought id live one

but here i'am savouring my saviour

my messiah of hearts and broken dreams

2 hearts forsaken intertwine

High and Mighty

she made me doubt myself
my high and mighty self, she says

but i was always there for her
when she knew not herself, she said

---------------------------------------------------------
she said i never loved her
but rather love itself and all it brings

.............. such a lie such that wounds and stings

she said she knew she loved me
but never if quite enough

............. and with that, my poor soul exits with a cancerous cough.

Alive and Electric

she wasnt like what i known them to be

she was a devil in disguise

she wasnt the one i thought she was

never...........mine

she wasnt what i thought to be truth

just a lying swine

she isnt what i need to feel right now

i need sweet and divine

but SHE......... is alive and electric

ive found my spine

essence

freeze the moment try to save it and own it

rate the bait
and see if you'll catch it

save the wait
and see if you'll still want it

be the light
and find there is no place for spite

be anointed
and find your essence within the fight

freeze the moment try save it and own it

see the way
and be the clandestine

feel the way
the knowledge of ancient wines

Fight Like A Woman

"forsake me baby for i'am she" she says this snaringly

but i don't find this one bit strange
for she always fights like a woman

tears sink deep and flow like rivers at will

whipping lips on my perspiring tender flesh
turn it to delicate pulp.

i gasp for air and find that im almost lost for life if she isnt with me.
i need that pain - it keeps me well and sane

i fear taking another step without her

where has my shadow gone?

does who i thought i was still exist? and do i still believe?

Hook Me Up

pain has become my friend dear friends

so i can hook you up with a wound or two

as i now know all kind of heartache through and through

so what'll it be ?

a slight let down of a betrayal
or shall i rip your heart in two

Love hurts, if it is not really love, but longing, and losing…

Me Through You

what I am to you, is not real

what I am to you, you do not need

what I am to you, is not what you mean to me

you give me miles and miles of mountains....but i ask for the sea.
____________________

What I give to you, is just what I'm going through

not less loving to you, nothing new

just another phase of finding me through you

like a new disease.....oh Lord let this pass and ease

Soft Exteriors

You keep using words like abuse and stuff like that, to describe the times when i confront you,
am i supposed to just agree with u? no.

You are a scary person to know , one never knows where he stands with you, one minute you are loving and the next you just do the most inconsiderate and selfish things.

I still love u though, for the good thats within you, you seem to forget to do that, one bad thing seems to erase all the good things for you, its not nice, compassionate or fair.
Try to remember the things that you first made you love a person and dont think of the last event that has smudged the image, it doesnt mean you were mistaken to love them warts and all.

I learned from knowing you though, i learned not to trust so quickly and to not be decieved by soft exteriors.

You of course will once again label this abuse. do so if u must.
But its not, its just my honest opinion.

Dance For Joy

joy is a soul that knows no pain
its seen you clean its seen you small

and so you dance this once for pleasure
and let your grief out for a stroll

ultimate highs for ultimate downs
i thank the king for both - ive seen his crown

dimly bright, for he is the light

i whirled numbly for a few eternities

and when i returned i fell down to my knees - intensely sane, and ever forgiven

and i hear my love say:

are you dancing for pleasure or joy?


a tear escapes my eye and falls onto the ragged concrete earth
splattering in all directions into fragments of infinite light and madness - no sadness
but then they settle back down on to the ground again into dampness- and i forget thier essence.