always mind III

"It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours.
It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell; as i t is a man's own mind , not his enemy or foe, that lures him to evil ways. "

never mind - (buddha says)

the end is beginning is the end

a shimmer of light has started its journey
it has me in mind

a message to an honest messenger
"do his will" it says

i know iam of him
and that he is through me

my being just at the very beginning of the road
does not make this any less true

if i know i will, then i already have

"The world , indeed, is like a dream. Like the apparent distances in a picture, things have no reality in themselves, all that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world ."

What we think, we become

emptiness is form

"Emptiness is described as an elusive feeling of numbness, the inability to feel anything emotionally, or not having any purpose."

The Pharaohs described it as "a situation of certain lack"

a fragment of the "Heart Sutra" - "Mahaprajnaparamita" :

Form is emptiness

Emptiness is form

Emptiness is no other than form

Form is no other than emptiness

===============

shiki fu i ku

ku fu i shiki

shiki soku ze ku

ku soku ze shiki

---------------------------------------------------------

its funny how one can get used to confusion and grief

and how pain can become great solace

how one will actually miss it

funny...... but not

as when joy doesnt come to the rescue
to quickly fill the gap that anguish has left
................................. emptines can be murder

Skyward

no tickets needed for entry into the 'Wacky World of Sick People', its free.
(maybe just 300 pounds, some tinfoil and a solid "im a rockstar"
attitude,with a rolled 100 pound banknote dangling from my lips)

funky junky

i think i hear the meters singin Flavor…
i think i taste the flavor of bad Stella

the flavor of takin the right handful of wonder-drug anti-psychotics
wonder drug my ass i say.

might as well take some SSRI's to help.
yes the infamous zac attack

they do more harm than good, i say

go to the doctor, get your head explored and open your eyes

and when you do
realise that your in the wacky plain of sick people.

"you are not the doctor and you will not abolish suffering in all sentient life. "

but fuckin hell I am not so far out of the solar system - you know
my umph and communications skills are just frozen from lack of heat and sun is all.

anyways spring is coming on
and i can almost taste the heat im longing for to warm my bones
..................ahhhh the glory
................warmth cleanses

life goes on and i learn something new everytime i look skyward
life has gotten much brighter since i found some guidance in things other than powders and pills,

lies and deception

but then why does aldous huxley say ? :

"If we could sniff or swallow something that would, for five or six hours each day, abolish our solitude as individuals, atone us with our fellows in a glowing exaltation of affection and make life in all its aspects seem not only worth living, but divinely beautiful and significant, and if this heavenly, world-transfiguring drug were of such a kind that we could wake up next morning with a clear head and an undamaged constitution - then, it seems to me, all our problems (and not merely the one small problem of discovering a novel pleasure) would be wholly solved and earth would become paradise."

oh well, spring is near and the sun will shine…

somewhere undeniable

(the voice i hear)

"where will all this take us ?"

"somewhere undeniable"

i needed to hear that voice ....................... that violin-voice
singing a bitter sweet melody ........... on an oriental tuning

it came

it was the hug i needed
the hug i longed for.............. and didnt even know it

only now do i feel its safe

we can now let the peninsula's peaks freeze in peace
and have them promise to call back for us, when all is spring and well.

-----------------------------------------
safe in the knowledge that the voice has never lied.
-----------------------------------------

but its unfolding too slow

ill have to either
die laughing
or learn to not ever get bored

once again the voice leaned in telling me to repeat after him :

"i vow to be less cerebral
and thrash open weak texts
to rewrite thier source"

what a way

Knowing Eyes

"Ya salam 3al dunya we 7alawetha fe 3ain el 3ushak"

Morsi Gamil Aziz for Om Kolthoum
O all ye who have wronged, shamed and dissed love
what do you know of it ?

the fault must stem from either you or your loved ones
but as for love it is the light of the heavens and earth

how beautiful life becomes in the eyes of the love afflicted
how insignificant and petty worldly woes become

look into eyes filled with that unworldly light, and you will know what im talking about.

such eyes have a knowing calmness to them
they vibrate emotion and always seem but a step away from flooding with joyful tears

they fear nothing but longing
they gaze eternally..........and know

those eyes simply know..........................

bless'em

yes, i talk back to books

jealousy ......................................i looked up the definition of it in the dictionary.

here is what it said:

"suspicious or fearful of being replaced by a rival; resentful or bitter in rivalry; demanding exclusive love. "

"hey!" i retorted to the damned know-it-all book, "you dont even know me. who are you to judge ?"

“He knows me mother, He sees.”

"I’am The Truth. The Way, a hidden treasure, and I wanted to be known, so I created Creation”

Oh ! the negatives in life and how confusing things seem to get sometimes

life really is truly hard sometimes............................. lots of things may seem out of grasp

and sometimes God takes you to troubled waters, but not to drown you, to cleanse you.

there is so much beauty in life

so much................ its overwhelming even sometimes.

life and the nature of being has so many pockets of beauty and magnificence

...................................... we only need re-train ourselves to see and appreciate

beauty and purity are manifest..................... yet hidden to those who lack clarity

"The Truth is closer to you than your jugular vein, open the chanels and let The Way flow through you, guiding you and many"

as children we saw life with this clarity all the time

with wonderment and appreciation for the seemingly normal

we need to reaccess this clarity and sustain it throughout

" He is The Light of the heavens and the earth, The First , The Last, The Manifest and the Hidden,surely we are of him, and to Him do we return"

back to essence

winged love

"There is as much difference between the counsel that a friend giveth, and that a man giveth himself, as there is between the counsel of a friend and of a flatterer. For there is no such flatterer as is a man's self."

Francis Bacon


i have a confidant that lives many miles away from me
Albion is her home

i tell her of my joys and of my woes
a very unique relationship
that i'am ever grateful for

her short concise advices
are priceless.....................
true heavenly gemmes

winged love from another continent

i have recently taken her counsel on many matters of the heart

i asked her the other day:

" when am i ever gonna find that deep connection with someone ?
is it bound to happen? or doesnt everyone encounter such bliss? "

she calmly and wisely says in the most sophisticated of british accents:

"ya habibi, i have always prided you on your intuitiveness and your gift of knowing what is real with a deep conviction as if touching it, and now you ask me such weak and astray questions,
tut tut mohamed, for shame"

stay out of that whole thing for a while
and love will come to you when you least expect it
is the traditional advice in this case
so cliche, yet so frighteningly real

and then comes a breath of fresh air
in the midst of all my self-doubt
and playfully tickles my innermost senses

she goes by lola

now gone

my image of you has been slightly shaken

i look into your eyes and i see no one
nothing left but remnants of a just empress now gone

no insight left to reside nor the simplest most basic want for truth

all this has fled you hastily
never looking back

you have lost all surrender to a greater self
yourself

you now know nothing of the value of celibate kinship

the queen redback spider and her sacrificial males

"It is a common belief that male spiders, which usually are significantly smaller than the females, are likely to be killed after or during mating, or sometimes even before mating can occur."

i was not angry at you
as with anger there is strength
i was but gashed, hurt and broken winged
............... weak

you.............
YOU had the strength
the strength to throw it all away and move on fast

and look at me with pity
and throw me crumbs of love

the strength to think you were guiltless
and believe it

the nerve to think we can still be best of friends
after the horror i endured for you

is she she stupid ?................. no
confused ?............. don't think so
evil in its purest form ?...... maybe

and by pure i mean evil in its most delectable and mouth watering of forms

....................but still no

she is a mix of cold hard-hearted and calculated selfishness
with a generous dash of basic uninhibited sexual implosion

resulting in the most ruthless of man-eating known to this sphere

______________________________

some would kill to have this problem of mine........you know
and call me petty

to fall prey....... and be chewed alive
as an offering
to this splendorous goddess of unbound pleasure and endless painful irration

i bow to thee
and contemplate the beauty of the web you have woven

"despite the supposed aggressiveness of the female spider towards the male, the male may live in the female's web for some time without being harmed, and It is believed to be rare for a fit male to be eaten by the female."

i barely escaped.............
so long...... high mistress

Upon Mount Horeb

which one am i ?
weak or divine ?

ughh........... the questions i ask sometimes
.............................bring on the strong wine

am i to be easily forgotten
or will my will be etched in stone
and thrive for a couple thousand years

i have always seen and treated life
........as my visionary concubine
....... my heartfelt conquest of a truth

and with a deepest of longing for the source

never have i lusted for fear
nor enjoyed it so
for it is a solemn joy, at the best of times

but i will admit to having at one point fallen in love
with all the things in life that destroy men

but that point has infinitely spurred me

so here i'am once again looking into forever and all
but this time........... i will not trip, and i will not fall

i pray my dream will shine - on all - and enthrall

with Albion to the west of me
Babel to the east
and Amarna bravely south

i pray The Truth will be with me for the rest of the journey
as he always has

the strong wine is mine......... i will take it

"Turn on, tune in, drop out"

its the cure in a sweet form of pure
you keep on trying it
but you're not quite sure

this new brand of sanity being marketed these days
i just don't like
its narrow, boring and honestly its just not for everyone -you know

its just plain vain
and designed for pain
not for the free spirited
or the hermits of bygone days

find yourself, tune out the noise and all the rubble
don't get lost in it - but if you do, love the journey out

i heard a guy once say

""It's like I've got a gun barrel in my mouth, with my finger on the trigger, and I'm liking the taste of the gun metal."

it could be a cure in satan's form of pure
you gotta keep on trying it

till you know you aint sure

'aint no thang

all to the benefit

to yours to mine
till we know who's blind

for good for bad
but we're all benign

so when it comes to who and where we are
its all just days til we savour wine

we may fight
we may scrum
we may squander love

but who are we fooling
we had something loving
pure and from above

..............more than love

it was friends forever
with a romantic touch